Three parenting secrets living in your garden

Green peppers

I often speak about a lack of leadership and how the youth wander around aimlessly, taking direction from the wrong type of role models.

But, what type of a parent would I be if I didn't suggest a practical solution to keep our children on the right path?

It’s my duty to nurture my sons. Just like the seeds in my vegetable garden, I need to protect them from the elements, give them the nutrients they need to help them flourish into strong and productive young men that contribute to the well-being of the community in which they live.  

How can we shake off the culture of consumerism and instant gratification to teach our children the importance of patience, peace and reaping the fruits of resourceful labour?

Three ways my garden helps me to be a better father

1. Learning the art of patience  

I’ll never forget the first time I planted a pumpkin seed. I was about five years old. As soon as I put in the ground, I watered it and willed it to grow immediately. Nothing happened…

Every day, I’d rush into the garden, water the soil and inspect the ground closely. A week or two passed and just as I was about to give up on watering the ground, I saw these tiny little slivers of green forcing its way through the hard sand.

The excitement was unbearable.

Now, if you’ve ever grown pumpkins in your garden, you know that even though it takes a while for the seed to germinate and the seedling to grow, as soon as it puts down roots, there’s no stopping the plant.

It will quickly creep its way along the ground and if you don’t control it’s growth, it’ll break all boundaries and destroy all other plants in its path. And, even then, you still have to wait a few months before you can harvest your first pumpkin.

Today, I encourage Skyler to play in the garden while I dig, weed and plant. I am patiently waiting for the day that he is old enough to plant and nurture his own little veggie patch. He can watch his plants grow, keep it clear of weeds and eventually enjoy the fruit of his labour.

2. Showing care and love

In our hash South African climate the sun, and even hail can quickly destroy even a well-kept veggie garden. I know that if I don’t check on my plants after a storm, they could easily collapse. I often brave the elements to make sure my garden is safe from the elements.

I water my plants late at night and on hot days, I need to cool off the leaves with the sprinkler. As the plants grow, I add supporting structures to stop them from collapsing, (particularly my tomato plants. This year, they have seriously surprised me).

I know that if I don’t care and nurture the growth, give the plants the love, care and attention they need I will not get a good harvest.

It’s the same with my children. If I listen to them, attend to their needs or work a little harder for them even when I am exhausted, they will grow up to understand the love I have for them. They will learn to respect me and eventually they will become the fruit of my labour.

      3.  Focus your attention on the right things

Too many of us focus our attention on the wrong things and expect positive results. If you see a weed and leave it, it’ll grow. In fact, it’ll probably kill some of your fruit producing plants without blinking an eyelid.

So just like life, you need to weed out the negative and focus your attention on the positive. Sure, you can get poison to kill your weeds but good luck trying to get anything to grow in that space again. And, would you let your children play in the area where you just sprayed poison? I certainly wouldn't!

So why not focus your attention on pulling out the weed. Be careful not to let the weed drop its seeds everywhere and make sure that you remove as much of its roots from the ground as possible. If you focus your attention on removing the weeds and nurturing the plant, you’ll reap the benefits of a healthier garden.

The same goes for your children. If you focus on protecting them, teaching them to defend and fend for themselves and not on the negative influences that could sway them, you will raise a well-rounded young person.

They need to see you acknowledge the danger but more importantly, your children need to see how you meticulously plan to remove the danger, protect them and plan to recover.  

Some wise person once said, “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude towards the problem!”

I hope that you are inspired to do these things:

·         Start a garden or a family,

·         practice patience,

·         show love and

·         focus your attention on the positive things in life.

As always, I’m simply want to…

Say it like it is.